Todd Agnew

This was another favorite that didn’t make the record. In fact, it was one of the songs that led me to the title of this record, which I do not believe has yet been announced. So I guess I can’t explain too much more about that. So let’s just jump to the song.

The story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) has always been a favorite of mine. Obviously, I’ve already written one song from this text, Still Here Waiting from the Grace record. But I have grown much more fond of this parable after reading The Cross and the Prodigal by Kenneth Bailey. He is a scholar in Middle Eastern peasant culture, and so he reads the Bible with a different background than most. I really enjoyed his insights and it brought this story back to the forefront of my thinking.

The song specifically deals with three moments in the story: the son’s choice to return home, the son’s journey home, and the son’s arrival at home. In the first couple of verses, I dug into some of the thoughts that might have been going through his head, some of the feelings he might have experienced while deciding to go home and while traveling home. I tried to look at it through his eyes, but also through mine and yours since we have all walked this road of regret.

But today I want to look at one thing specifically. In the bridge, we get to one of the most powerful things I found in The Cross and The Prodigal. Dr. Bailey says this, “First century Jewish custom dictated that if a Jewish boy lost the family inheritance among the Gentiles and dared to return home, the community would break a large pot in front of him and cry out “so-in-so is cut off from his people.” It was called the Kezezah ceremony. The son had betrayed his family and his community by losing their wealth to others, specifically Gentile “others”. So when Jesus’ story happens to mention a pig farmer, he was very intentionally pointing out that the inheritance was lost among the Gentiles. So when the son returned home, he would be mocked, berated, abused, and publicly cast out, all before he ever actually got home. As soon as someone saw him, the village would turn out against him.

But the father is looking for his son. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.” I don’t know how to phrase this delicately… have you ever seen an old man run? It’s usually not attractive. Especially when the old man is wearing robes and has to hike them up over his old wrinkly knees to run down the road. Shame was coming upon the son. The kezezah was coming. The village would cut him off. But before that could happen, the father shamed himself, running down the road, not acting respectably, not making the prodigal return in shame. The father ran down the road and embraced him. He declared him as a son, putting a robe on his back and a ring on his finger, before anyone could cut him off. The son deserved the shame, but the father shamed himself, so the son could return to the family. Such an amazing picture.

I’ve already moved on to other books by Dr. Bailey, but you should start with this one. And maybe you’ll even hear the song someday.

Prodigal

Long, so long have I wandered far from home
Hard, it’s so hard to lay my pride down and turn around

But You say You’re waiting for this prodigal son to come home
But I hesitate till I see You running down the road to me

Far, so far have I fallen from where You are
Scared, I’m so scared that You won’t love me when I get there

But You say You’re waiting for this prodigal son to come home
But I hesitate till I see You running down the road to me

Calling out my name, taking all my shame
My humiliation turns to joy
The prodigal’s embraced, my excuses all erased
By an overwhelming, unrelenting love
Your love

And You say You’re waiting for this prodigal son to come home
But I hesitate till I see You running down the road to me

c.2011 Ardent/Koala Music All rights reserved

The problem with poetry, or at least one of them
is that everyone has already decided they don’t like it
Before they’ve listened to a line
Before they’ve embraced a rhyme
They’ve decided they don’t like it.
Before they’ve read Billy Collins
(They’d rather listen to Phil)
Before they’ve read Charles Simic
(They do however like Charlie Brown)
They’ve decided they don’t like it.
Imagine if you will going to your first day of middle school,
with so much to offer, so much potential,
But everyone has already decided they don’t like you.
Because of what someone else has said
Because they heard you were boring
Because some of the time you match.
It’s not fair, is it?
Now you know how poetry feels.
But I think you’ll both overcome it.

Thanks to all the students who worshipped with us this weekend. We’d love to hear some stories of what God did in your lives and in your groups at this I Am Second weekend. I’m posting the songs we did and who really sings them so you can find them.

God Undefeatable will be on the new Austin Stone Worship album coming out December 6. It is also on the new Ross King EP.

Song of Moses will be on the new record by Unhindered and is already on the Dwell CD by Aaron Keyes

Rise and Sing is by Fee.

It was great being with you this weekend. Hope to hear some of your stories.

Todd

I’m afraid I may have to decide what I want to be when I grow up.
I’ve always pictured myself a renaissance man,
a jack of all trades and much to my dismay, a master of none.
A writer of songs and hymns, a teller of stories and sometimes truths
I can play 1 to the 5, and 6 to the 4 in any key.
I can compete in any sport, at a mediocre level
I’m best at the things no one really cares about.
But I decided as much as I liked those things
That I’d rather spend my life loving my wife and raising our kids
I added two huge titles to my name but no more abilities.
So I lead worship, every once in a while.
I pray with my kids at bedtime, most days.
I sing songs that maybe you’ll hear, or maybe you won’t.
I write blogs that are supposed to be books, except on the days that I walk away.
Because I can’t find the words to say what I want to say,
which is more often than not.
I wonder if Peter Pan was actually good at anything.
He really just played all the time, except with Captain Hook
But pirates are fun too as long as you’re not in any real danger
And on his island, he was king of the world
Master of the feast, leader of the band, tamer of the beast
And the children he met, their lives were really changed, weren’t they?
Weren’t they? But who changed them?
The king or the leader, the tamer or the master?
The singer or the writer, the father or the pastor?
I’m afraid I may have to decide what I want to be when I grow up,
But I’m so afraid I’ll choose incorrectly.
So maybe I’ll just be…

While preparing for church this week at the Austin Stone, I have been studying the baptism of Jesus in Mark 1: 2-11. As I read about the Spirit descending in the form of the dove, I remembered sermons I’ve heard on the many different things the dove might represent, each preacher quite sure of their interpretation. It’s strange how confident we can be on some of the mysteries God has left for us. This weekend I’d love for you to comment about what you feel the dove means. I think we can all benefit from each other’s interpretations, and I know I’ll benefit from your background, study, and insight. I’ll start. Obviously, I don’t know what it means exactly, but my favorite things I’ve learned so far have to do with the dove being the burnt offering found in Leviticus 1. It is the offering for the poorest people. Also, as a burnt offering, it is completely consumed. I have no idea if this is why the Spirit took this form, but I love the imagery. And after thinking about it, I’m fairly sure God purposefully included a lot of direct and indirect messages in all of His choices throughout the Scripture. But I loved the picture of an offering for the poor, tying into the first Beatitude, and the complete consumption of the offering.

I can’t wait to hear your thoughts. And… discuss.

Todd

I met Jason years ago at a World Vision conference. I had a great time getting to know him. I listened to his music, and had one thought. “This guy is really great; it’s too bad no one will ever sign him because he stutters.” I thought no one would be able to look past that one issue. Fortunately I was wrong. Some other friends of mine at Centricity Music heard Jason’s music and brought it to the world’s attention. And his huge record Everything Sad Is Coming Untrue finally got the attention it deserved, especially the smash hit, More Like Falling In Love. The fun part about writing these blogs is that I can use phrases like “huge record” and “smash hit” that would make Jason very uncomfortable.

You need to see Jason in concert. Because one of the things you would not know about Jason just from singing along with the radio is that he is a great storyteller. It is wonderful to see how God has used what man saw as a weakness as a way to reveal the glory of God. He weaves his own story, his encounters with God and life, through his music. He definitely takes you on a journey.

Another thing you wouldn’t know about Jason is that he’s a great husband and dad. We had only crossed paths professionally until a couple of years ago, when he brought his family to GMA. It was so great to see another side of him. As everyone else is posturing so that the industry will see the most impressive side of them, Jason is wrestling with his kids in the eating area. Having a conversation with most people there consisted of trying to get one point across while they were scanning the crowd for someone they needed to talk to more. But Jason was present in that moment. He talked to me. He wanted to hear some of my story and was willing to share some of his. The only thing that took his attention away was his kids, as it should be.

I haven’t gotten to know Jason as well as I would like to. I am looking forward to having that opportunity. You can get to know him better by listening to his brand new album, A Way To See In The Dark. It has some killer songs on it. Just promise me you’ll read the lyrics to The Other Side while you listen to it. I don’t want you to miss anything. Incredible verses. And man, there is some serious wisdom about fear in two songs, No Thief Like Fear & Fear is Easy, Love is Hard. I Will Find A Way will crush you. Make sure you don’t have anything to do after listening to it. It takes some time to recover. And I’m sure you’ll all hear a lot of Remind Me Who I Am on the radio soon.

You can find Jason online at jasongraymusic.com. You can follow him at @jasongraymusic on Twitter. You can pray for his wife and kids. You can go buy the new record, or pull out one of the old ones and give it a listen.

Thoughts? Favorite Jason Gray lyric?

Todd

I always hated the last morning of youth camp. I didn’t want camp to end. My friends and I had been fired up all week, we had a crazy night on the last night, but then it’s time to go. Everyone is tired; the glow of the week is already dimming. But there is one thing that I specifically disliked about the last morning of camp… the last sermon. The “Now you have to go back to the real world” speech.

Going back to the real world was such a downer. I didn’t want to go back. I wanted to stay there. I didn’t want to go back to the social confusion of my regular life; I wanted to stay where I had started to see how things fit together. I didn’t want to go back to where knowing the Bible was dorky; I wanted to stay in the place where knowing the Bible made me valuable. I didn’t want to go back to where some of the popular kids would suddenly forget that it was okay to be nice to me; I wanted to continue to see the best sides of people. But nonetheless, here came the “Going Back To The Real World” sermon.

It’s funny, because I’ve felt somewhat the same way coming back from Hutchmoot. If you missed that blog, well, I never actually explained all of it, but you’ll find some of it here: http://toddagnew.com/2011/09/26/the-rabbit-room/ . The short version is I went to a conference of and for creative thinking people and was encouraged, enabled, challenged, and maybe more importantly, accepted. And I’ve already seen a number of comments and at least one blog from people about how we now have to “go back to the real world.” I started to feel the disappointment creeping in until I realized God had already taught me about this in the context of camp.

At camp, we were set up for failure with the “going back to the real world” talk (whew, I’m getting tired of typing that. Can we settle on GBTTRW?) What I mean is that even in the title, in the first sentence, we were told that the magical time we had just experienced was not real. And I think that may have been one of the most destructive lies I was told as a kid. How can time spent in communion with our Savior, distractions placed aside, chasing after Him morning, noon, and night, how can that be fake? How can the week I prayed as much as the other 51 weeks put together, how can that be the fraudulent week? How can the week I spent in the Word, in community, in service, be the week that is not real? This WAS reality. We weren’t going back to the real world. We were going back to the lie. We were going back to a world where Christ had to fit into the background, into our schedules, into our structure. We were walking out of Eden and believing that this desert was the real world. The snake was whispering in our ears that the relationship we had experienced with God this week was not tenable over the long haul. “This will be a great memory.” “Maybe I can come back next year.” And just like that, we let it go. Even as the preacher was trying to fire us up to go back and change our schools, we were also hearing that the change we had experienced wasn’t real. The lives we were going back to… they were real. Or at least that’s what I heard. But I don’t think that’s right.

Being with Jesus IS reality. I’m sorry, Mr. Camp Speaker, but that means we can’t “go back to the real world.” We are either in intimate communion with Him which is reality or we are leaving this place and going back to the lie. The time I spent in prayer at camp, THAT was real. The truths God showed me as I read His Word, THOSE were real. I didn’t need to know how to “go back to the real world.” I needed to know how to take the reality I was in back into the busier schedule of my life. I needed to be guided through the process of letting this reality transform the life I had at home. And now I am having to do it again.

At Hutchmoot, being creative was valued. Being different (some might even say nerdy) was accepted and even treasured. And already I am finding myself trying to figure out how I can still maintain some creative value “back in the real world”. But I’m starting to realize that creation itself is the real world. In Dorothy Sayers’ book, The Mind of the Maker, she writes about being made in the image of God. What she noticed really intrigued me. She pointed out that at the time when God makes the declaration, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness,” (Gen. 1:26a ESV), we don’t actually know much about God. He hasn’t been described. He hasn’t revealed His character. The only image we have of God when He says we are made in His likeness is that He is a Creator. He creates, makes, invokes, produces. And we are like Him.

Having kids has made that concept abundantly clear. I watch my daughter get dressed up because she is a tutor for her friend, the princess. I watch my son use one superpower after another. I get to listen to the stories my daughter has written, fully illustrated of course. I watch my son build spaceships out of Legos. My kids build forts out of pillows and blankets. And their favorite building tool…? Empty cardboard boxes. Everything in life is fraught with creative possibilities. Everything can be used to tell the stories running through their brains.

We are creative beings. We are not designed to merely maintain a way of life; we are supposed to make things that are new. That concept, in and of itself, does not make me a sculptor. It doesn’t necessarily make you a poet, or a songwriter, or a carpenter. But we are designed to create. My wife doesn’t think she’s artistic, but she creates an atmosphere of community, of openness, of honesty, everywhere she goes. I’ve started to notice that she can draw just about anything. And you know, with her appreciation of great art and literature, I bet there’s another spark of creativity in there somewhere. And there is one in you too. Maybe you just haven’t tried. Or maybe you let it go, because it was time to “grow up”. And yet, here you are, years later, still wishing you could do that. Well, today I’m telling you that you can. I’m not saying you’re going to be amazing the first time you try. No one is. I’m just saying you can create. You are made in His image. Creating is the real world. I’m not saying you should be writing poetry at the expense of feeding your family. I think God’s plan is for us to do both. Maybe somehow to combine them. So that rather than having real and false worlds, we have God’s plan in the midst of God’s world.

I’m glad I didn’t leave Hutchmoot just to go back to a life completely separated and different. That I get to bring all that I experienced back, to share it with my wife and kids, to continue to walk in it myself, and maybe even build a community like that here in Austin. I’m glad I didn’t leave youth camp to go back to a life where bible study and prayer were abnormal or false. That God desires to be just as life-changing in this moment as when I stood in that pew as a teenager. I don’t get to live my whole life in the Garden, but I do get to garden everywhere I go.

Thoughts?

Okay, here’s the deal. There is so much good new music coming out that I don’t have time to listen to it all, much less post about all of it. To be honest, I can’t even afford to buy all of it. So, in the spirit of community we are going to partner in this venture. There are a ton of great new records released in the last month. I’m going to list a lot of them below. And then I’d love for you to comment here and let us know what you have listened to and what you thought of it. If you reviewed one for your own blog, I’d love for you to copy it and paste it below so we can benefit from it. If you haven’t ever reviewed a CD before, that’s fine. You don’t have to be a pro. Just tell us what you thought of it. I’ve never tried this before but I’m really looking forward to hearing what you think rather than what I think. My only comment is the new Gungor CD is ridiculous. As in ridiculously amazing, not as in ridiculously silly. So let the first DIY review begin…

Phil Wickham – Response
Jason Gray – A Way To See In The Dark
Mute Math – Odd Soul
Gungor – Ghosts Upon The Earth
Rachael Lampa – All We Need
Switchfoot – Vice Verses
Andrew Peterson – Above These City Lights
Ellie Holcomb – Magnolia EP
Ross King – God Undefeatable
Matt Maher – The Love In Between
Rush of Fools – We Once Were
Leeland – The Great Awakening
NEEDTOBREATHE – The Reckoning
Jeremy Riddle – Furious
Jamie Grace – One Song At A Time
All Sons & Daughters – Brokenness Aside
Shane and Shane – The One You Need
Hawk Nelson – The Light Sides

And I’m sure I’m missing some. Anyway, start your engines… and review.

Oh, and by the way, there’s a song in there somewhere that I just recorded for the new record. Just an additional piece of information. It’s only 18 albums and maybe 200 songs to sift through.

Can’t wait to hear what you think of what you’re listening to. Then I’ll know what to buy next.

Todd

I met Al Andrews at Porter’s Call, a ministry where he counsels Christian musicians… for free. Not exactly a plan for wealth and prosperity. Recently he has had a dream of being a philanthropist. For those who don’t know, a philanthropist is someone with a lot of money who gives money to good causes and to people in need. The problem he encountered is that a prerequisite to being a philanthropist is being rich. And he’s not. So he came up with a simple plan. 1) Do something that makes a lot of money. 2) Give that money away.

Simple, right? Of course, as you well know, it’s not that easy. But he still moved forward. Now he has just released his first children’s book, The Boy, The Kite, and the Wind. And he has already chosen some non-profits to give this money too.

I think it’s an amazing idea. So many of us would like to do something awesome but don’t see how it could be possible. Well, Al has given us a crazy idea. You can read more about it at improbablephilanthropy.com .

I hope you will order one of his books. If you don’t have a child around to read to, you can give it away, get one for your library, or maybe find a child to invest in. And even more importantly I hope this will spark a discussion, maybe below in the comment section, maybe on Al’s site, maybe in your homes and families, about what crazy things God may be calling you to do. I look forward to hearing about them.

You can order The Boy, The Kite, & The Wind here. http://improbablephilanthropy.com/store/the-boy-the-kite-and-the-wind/

Thoughts?

Todd

I’ve never reposted someone else’s blog. But today I have to. I made a new friend a week ago, a poet, writer, lawndarter, by the name of S.D. Smith. So I finally got home last night, and this morning I checked his blog. I have not been impacted like this in quite a while, so I wanted to share it with you. I hope you will read it, share your thoughts here, then copy them and post them on his blog as well. With no further ado…

“IT IS WHAT IT IS, BUT IT IS NOT WHAT IT SHALL BE”

It is what it is. I read it on a cubicle wall. It’s a country-craft sign with large, cursive script, a script to make one curse. Words to echo the curse. The sign is made to look like it was made on a farm, but it was made in China. And not on a farm in China. The smooth, shimmering surface lies about its age. It’s made to appear older with new-painted fading, meticulously manufactured cracks, and fabricated years. An inverted aging starlet. It is intentionally distressed and so am I. But, I suppose, it is what it is. This sign that transports me to a funeral, a child’s sickbed, an accident scene. It is what it is.

It is what it is. It is a statement of resignation. After all kinds of trouble, worry, and fear, there it sits. We can live with such a statement, but not forever.

It is what it is. Is it?

It is what it is, but it is not what it shall be.

Children will not someday die, someday. Cancer will not reduce and end us like a berserker army invading every border, swallowing our hallowed map. It is what it is, but it is not what it shall be.

There’s good all over and grace in every breath. It is today and we are alive and so we ought to happily receive these gifts all over. Gratitude should be our theme song.

Thank God it’s Friday, but Someday’s coming.

We wrestle with the Not Yetness of things. With the good, broken, incompleteness of everything. We can receive a cold valley with thanks and still long for the sun.

It is what it is. But all the same, we long for it to be different. We long for it to not be all the same. Or, we long for it to be the same, but different. Like our best friends, we want them fully themselves. We want the fully realized valley. Sun and all. We want the valley on the edge of forever to slide on over.

It is what it is, but it is not what it shall be. Some day, when Someday comes, we will slide on over into the re-Edened earth. Sunrise.

This bought by Brother’s blood,
And so our family seal,
Runs red across a guarantee,
Of Father’s glad goodwill.
From me, my sons, sin you get,
An inherited curse.
From a Greater Father, you may claim,
All of the reverse.

All of the reverse. In that day, It is what it is will be fully and finally undone, by:

I Am Who I Am.

Thoughts?

(and you can repost your thoughts here as well:
http://www.sdsmith.net/2011/09/29/it-is-what-it-is-but-it-is-not-what-it-shall-be/ )

Todd