Todd Agnew

Tollers, Hugo, Charles, Jack and their friends met in a small pub in Oxford England called the Eagle and Child originally to discuss mythology, but eventually shared a great deal of their thoughts, lives, and writings. The room where they held these discussions was called the Rabbit Room. To this point, the story seems insignificant, until you realize that “Tollers” was J.R.R. Tolkien, the author of The Lord of the Rings, and “Jack” was C.S. Lewis, author of the Narnia books and other Christian and fiction treasures. Their group of friends shared ideas and stories in the Rabbit Room.

The Rabbit Room has a new incarnation online at rabbitroom.com, a community of musicians, writers, thinkers, and creators. I believe the instigator of all this was one of my favorite songwriters, Andrew Peterson. And now, there are a number of contributors to the Rabbit Room, some incredibly wise, creative, and gratefully, humble people. Obviously, in a community like this, the writers are not only sharing with each other but with people around the world. Some of this community connect because of music, some because of books, some art, some faith, some sharing interests in specific authors or topics. Thinking people are drawn into discussions on a variety of issues.

This weekend the Rabbit Room held their annual Hutchmoot, a weekend where they come together in a physical place, where they share, challenge, and encourage one another. I participated in this weekend, and honestly I hesitate to even mention it to you, because now I am afraid you will try to take it over next year, and there will not be space for me. But nonetheless, I must share what God has done in my life and the kind of community I hope can grow here on this website, at my home church in Austin, and that you will have the opportunity to tune into what God is doing at rabbitroom.com.

I find it hard to put into words what happened this weekend. Which is ironic considering that a great deal of the weekend was about the value and beauty of words. I suppose I should start from my own point of view. I did not go into the weekend as a musician or songwriter. While that is obviously a part of who I am, I was not part of the group putting on the weekend, I was a participant. So I didn’t go in announcing who I was. I didn’t go in assuming I had something to share. I went in hoping to learn. I sat with people in sessions, at meals, in the hallway, talking about their hopes and their lives, and sharing mine as well. Most of the time I went to sessions on writing, since I am at the very beginning of trying to learn how to do that. It was wonderful, because everyone in that circle knew more about writing than me. Not only could I learn from the presenter, but I could learn from every person I encountered. I loved hearing their ideas and receiving their encouragements. Because whatever stage a writer is in, they remember the fear of beginning. And according to them, most of that fear remains.

I loved being at a conference (although I hesitate even to use the word conference because it gives off a connotation of education rather than community) where no one was seeking a record deal. No one was trying to get a book published. They were just there to do life together, to do the creative life together. I learned about poetry from S.D. Smith and Andrew, but then continued learning from the people attending that were passionately in love with great poetry. I might even try to finish the poem I started last year. I learned about building a co-creative community, which had a less to do with organization and stuff, and much more to do with letting go of our fears. I learned about the intersection of creativity and discipline. I listened to people’s passions, heard their stories, and shared a little of mine.

We heard from the Square Peg Alliance, which is a group of songwriters that don’t fit the CCM radio mold. And they’re amazing. Every one of them. I was already a big fan of Andrew, Andy Gullahorn, Andy Osenga, Jill Phillips, and Jason Gray. But I found the music of Ben Shive (who is ridiculously talented) and Eric Peters (who is another incredible honest songwriter). I got to know Randall Goodgame, who is an amazing singer/songwriter who has started using those talents to make music for kids, Slugs & Bugs. I heard Katie, who started singing and I immediately thought, “She sounds just like the girl from Coal Train Railroad.” Of course, she was the girl from Coal Train Railroad, a mom making jazz music for kids. And I’m sure I forgot someone. Sorry.

We heard from writers like Pete Peterson, who you’ve already heard me rave about his books Fiddler’s Gun and Fiddler’s Green. Andrew Peterson has also written a series of 3 books (so far) which are incredible and funny. Travis Prinzi is a Harry Potter authority and author, which appeals to the nerd in some of us. I won’t assume all of you are nerds. Jonathan Rogers is an incredibly intelligent man who has written both fiction and non-fiction books. And the weekend was capped by a visit from Sally Lloyd Jones, the author of the Jesus Storybook Bible. I am hoping that they recorded that session and might post it on the Rabbit Room, because I could never express to you the joy and challenge that she brought to us. If you ever get the chance to hear her speak, you HAVE to go. I don’t want to just give you a quote; it wouldn’t do it justice.

I don’t want this to get excessively long, but I hope you check out rabbitroom.com. And I hope we can stir that kind of community here as well. I hope you will create and be willing to share it with others. And after being challenged by these guys about the quality of our words, I may not post three times a week like I promised. I might actually try to write something good. Who knows? Well, I just wanted to give you an inkling of what I received this weekend. Now it’s time to hit the studio. I’d appreciate your prayers as we add a song to the new record. And no, I don’t know when it’s coming out, but we’ll be working this week. Thanks.

Thoughts?

Todd

Goliath roared blasphemy and all of Israel held their breath. Well, not ALL of Israel. Not David. David was screaming, a barbaric yawp that only young boys can unleash as they plunge into an adventure. He screamed not in fear but in defiance and in faith. And he ran. He ran right at that giant. Screaming and sprinting, he dropped a stone into his sling and began to twirl it over his head.

Now David hadn’t arrived to fight in a battle. He didn’t show up with armor or weapons; he had brought bread. And cheese. He’d pulled up to a war armed with snack food. He was the youngest in his family and had come to deliver food to his three oldest brothers. But he had heard the mammoth Philistine mock Israel and belittle their God. Before long, he was not only involved in the battle, he was the hope of Israel… screaming, and running.

Goliath was just beginning to lift his spear, expecting to skewer this child and end this war, when David let the first rock fly. It turned out to be the last rock as well. It struck the giant between the eyes and dropped him dead.

David ran up to him and drew the giant’s own sword. He’d never seen anything so huge. Even in his make-believe battles he acted out while watching the sheep, he had never imagined a weapon like this. It took all his strength to lift it over his head and let it fall down. Gravity did the rest of the work, slicing the giant’s head from his not inconsiderable body. Only then did the army of Israel rush the field and rout the Philistines as they fled.

I heard this story my whole life. Every VBS, we heard about David and Goliath. Every new Sunday School teacher made sure we learned two stories: David and Goliath, and Noah and the ark. Because somewhere along the line, someone decided that God wiping out the entire world with a flood was a children’s story. But back to the point, we always heard about David and Goliath. It was especially used as an inspirational talk at the end of camp. They are trying to get us fired up to take over the world for Jesus. The speaker would yell, “It’s a war out there!” And we would yell back, “It’s a war out there!” Of course, we would have yelled whatever they said, because we were hyped up on sugar and no sleep. We weren’t exactly discerning theologians at this point. He would yell, “You’re David!” We would respond, “I’m David!” “Your sin is Goliath!” “My sin is Goliath!” “You’re going to go home and kill your sin!” “Yeah! Kill it!” They passed out little stones and Sharpies. We wrote our shame on these rocks so that we would remember to kill them when we got home. And I believed them. I went home fired up, ready to conquer these sins that had owned me. I took out my rock and prepared to defeat my lust, my anger, my tongue. I screamed, and ran, and threw that rock as hard as I could, just like they had said. It struck dead center. And then, my lust got back up and beat the crap out of me. Again. I had failed.

I was so ashamed. I thought I was the only one who had failed to defeat their giant. You know what that turned me into? A liar. I thought I was alone because no one ever talked about it again. I thought I was the only one languishing in defeat. So I lied. I pretended that I had won my battle as well.

But I’ve learned something. It started with a different camp sermon by a friend of mine, Ben Stuart of Breakaway Ministries in College Station, TX. What I learned was summed up in four simple words: I am not David. It seems simple. I’m not David. I mean, obviously I’m not David, I’m Todd. But even in the story, I am not David.

I’m not the brave little boy who goes out to fight the giant. Do you know who I am in the story? I’m Israel. I am in the army, sitting on the sideline of the battle I am supposed to be fighting. I’m terrified of the giant I know I cannot defeat. And I am in desperate need of someone to fight this battle in my place.

At its heart, David and Goliath is not a story about a brave little boy; it’s a story about a substitute. I wanted it to be a story about a brave little boy because then it could be a story about me. I would be the brave little boy; and I would conquer for the glory of Christ. The problem is that I misunderstood the story. Most every great story has a main character, and then has many minor characters. I always thought I was the main character and it was my job to make God the priority in my life, in my story. But what I am coming to understand is that God is the main character and I am the supporting actor. The story is about Him. And that greatly changes how you interpret the story.

If the story is about me, then it can be a story about a brave little boy who defeats a giant. But my problem was I was only slightly brave and my giant had kicked my tail. So where did the story go now? But in truth, I was not the star of the story. In the Bible, Christ is always the star of the story. God is always the centerpiece. And when I read it like that, I realize the David represents not me, but Christ. This is not the story of a brave little boy; it’s the story of a substitute. And Jesus is the substitute. He takes my place in the battle. He won the victory for me. The entire nation was victorious because of His triumph. He is the star.

When I thought I was the star, my defeat was the tragic end to the story. But in truth, it’s merely a set-up for His victory. If I am the center, my giant is the grand villain who just might win the war. But when Christ is the star, my giant is just an itty bitty subplot. My giant offers no real resistance to the march of the glory of Christ.

In my life and in my study of the Bible, I have often misinterpreted the meaning. I have misunderstood the plot because I have misplaced the characters. My life is not a story about me, it’s a story about God that has me as a character and my life as part of the plot. And the Bible is not a story about me, although I have spent years trying to apply it to my life. It is a story about God and what it reveals about Him is much more important than what it reveals about me.

Thoughts?

Todd

This was probably my favorite song that didn’t make it on the new record. And since there’s still no definite news about the record, I thought I’d tell you about this song instead. It’s really continuing the journey of On A Corner In Memphis. In fact, the alley that I picture in my brain is one in Memphis. So basically it’s addressing the idea that God’s truth can come from anywhere. The other day I was reading about Balaam and his donkey. You can read it yourself in Numbers 22 (and end up like I always do reciting, “Balaam, he had a donkey, who was gentle and true and kind.” Free copy of NEED to whoever can identify that quote first.) In the story, Balaam is saved from God’s wrath by a talking donkey, and not the one from Shrek. But God doesn’t just use donkeys. He uses all of us. Not just those who have been to seminary. Now that doesn’t mean seminary isn’t important or valuable. It just means that someone who hasn’t been to college has just as valid a relationship with God. The homeless man has just as valid opinion on who God is to him as I do. Therefore, I can learn about God from anyone who knows him. ANYONE. And I ignore other people’s opinions about God to my peril. So I told this story through a song. But it didn’t make the record. But you can read it here, and probably hear it live sometime.

Wherever We Go

I got lost downtown last Saturday
A dark alley on a stormy night
A man dropped down from a fire escape
And I nearly died with fright
He said, “I’m sorry, sir, There’a nothing to fear.
There’s no one left but the broken here
But you’re welcome to stay.
It’s out of the rain.”

And he said,
“I don’t know you or where you’ve been.
I don’t know where you think you’re going to, but
All I know is I found Jesus can reach us
Wherever we go. Wherever we go.”

He told me stories I had long forgotten
From when I was a child
About Daniel in a lions’ den
And his three friends in the fire
He said, “You’ll find God on the streets of Sodom
And at heaven’s pearly gates,
But tonight He’s downtown,
Around this fire of the broken-down.”

He said,
“”I don’t know you or where you’ve been.
I don’t know where you think you’re going to, but
All I know is I found Jesus can reach us
Wherever we go. Wherever we go.”

And I said, “Who are you to lecture me
On life and God above?”
He said, “Once I was just like you,
But lost everything I loved.
My family, my job, my home, my life it came unwound.
But he never let me go; He never let me down.”

He said,
“I don’t know you or where you’ve been.
I don’t know where you think you’re going to, but
All I know is I found Jesus can reach us
Wherever we go. Wherever we go.”

c.2011 Ardent/Koala Music All rights reserved.

“It is imperative on us to get rid of the tyranny of things…. When a man begins to abstain, then first he recognizes the strength of his passion; it may be, when a man has not a thing left, he will begin to know what a necessity he had made of things.”
– George MacDonald

And… discuss.

Thoughts?

So I have a few questions on blogging. I’m trying to become more consistent. My goal is to post new blogs every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Now, that may or may not happen. But here is what I want to hear from you.

1. What percentage of the blogs that you read do you also comment on?

2. What kind of blog makes you want to join the conversation?

Now if you have any other ideas on blogging, feel free to share them. If you have some topics you’d like to see addressed, feel free to mention them. Thanks for being a part of this community.

Thoughts?

One of the most common questions I get is, “Do you know Fill In The Blank CCM artist? What are they really like?” So I decided to write a blog about it. Here’s all the dirt on your favorite artists. Okay, not really dirt. I don’t have any desire to drag anyone’s name through the mud. You won’t find any dirty secrets here. Instead, I’d like you to get the chance to know them like I know them. As a person. As a friend. So let me introduce to you my friend, Mike Weaver.

You would know Mike as the lead singer of Big Daddy Weave. You probably wouldn’t know that he plays a mean heavy metal guitar. I should know, I’ve heard the recordings. Unexpected, but wonderful. I’ve always enjoyed BDW’s music and the two tours we did with them are still among our favorites. One of the best things about Mike is the joy he brings when he walks into a room. It’s awesome to have a friend who is going to make you smile, not because they know a lot of jokes but just because they enjoy life. I, of course, am nothing like that, and therefore, took full advantage.

Where does that spunk come in most handy, you ask? Early morning radio interviews. I don’t know why people listen to Christian radio in the morning, but they do, and so, that’s when they want us to do interviews. Unfortunately, I’m not a morning person. So I’m pretty terrible at early morning interviews. But Mike… he’s the golden child. I’m not even sure what that exactly means, but he’s the greatest at morning fun. He always has the energy and the right thing to say, and I think he may even enjoy it. So doing interviews with him is awesome. Because he does all the work. He is fun and funny. He’s just what people want from morning Christian radio. Then when they ask a deep spiritual question, he lets me get in one quality answer, so I can get credit for being there. And then he wraps it up. We’re a great team.

The other thing you should know about Mike that you probably won’t ever get the chance to find out is that he has a real heart for prayer. I don’t mean he’s organizing huge prayer rallies or anything. But on tour we would lead devotionals together and he was always in charge of the prayer side of things. I learned so much being with him. I don’t know if he really has any secrets to prayer. He just loves Jesus, and therefore loves to talk to Him. His prayers were so authentic, and not the new cool “bare feet means you’re humble” authentic. It was just Mike talking to Jesus the same way Mike talks to me but with more joy, because he’s talking to the One who brings him joy.

I hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know my friend Mike Weaver. Take some time today to pull out an old Big Daddy Weave CD and give it another listen. Or maybe jump on iTunes and buy the newest one. Take a moment and pray for Mike, his wife, and their kids. You can follow him on Twitter at @mikedaddyweave. Check out bigdaddyweave.com and find out when they’re coming to a city near you and go see them in concert. It’s a blast. Oh, and don’t play him in ping pong. He will murder you.

Thoughts? Favorite Big Daddy Weave song?

I always thought I would have more muscles. You wouldn’t think that a superhero would have man-handles. But I do. It turns out that super strength doesn’t have anything to do with the size of your muscles. So my arms are the same size they were before I knew I had these abilities. And there isn’t really any way to improve them. I mean, I have super strength. Exactly how am I supposed to exercise? And it turns out superheroes don’t all have washboard stomachs. So my stomach looks about the same as all the other guys my age. Not terrible, but starting to hang over my belt a little. And what am I supposed to do to raise my metabolism? I can speed around the world and not even raise my heartbeat. The elliptical doesn’t exactly go fast enough. It’s just not turning out the way I thought it would.

And why doesn’t anyone warn you about superhero costumes? First of all, glasses… not a disguise. If your mom wears contacts and takes them out before bed, when she puts on her glasses, you still know its your mom. Immediately. No disguise at all. And the costumes? Terrible. The spandex of Adam West and Christopher Reeve is incredibly awkward. And how are you supposed to disguise who you really are? A small mask around your eyes? Doesn’t work. The only way is a full mask, but then you look like an out of shape Mexican wrestler.

And you know what else no one discusses? Finances. You don’t get paid for stopping crimes or saving lives. Unless you join the army or the police force. And it’s really hard to keep another job if you disappear every time you’re needed elsewhere. I mean, think about it. How long would you keep your job if you just disappeared a few times a day? Not long. So, I’ve had to start my own business and be self-employed, but then taxes kill you. The only other option is not to have a secret identity and be a sell-out, supporting products and making money through endorsements. But your spandex outfit over your huge Nike hightops looks a little awkward. There you go to fight crime in your Mt. Dew-mobile.

And the funny thing is I find myself on the computer just like everyone else. I missed a bank robbery because I was in the middle of a World of Warcraft quest. Sometimes I even play Sims. Which means that I’m a real superhero, online pretending to be a normal person. It’s strange that we spend so much time wishing we were someone else. Even Facebook pages are us presenting a certain image to the world. I have a Facebook page for me as a normal person and me as a superhero. One has 10 million friends, and one has 7. Guess which is which.

I guess this just hasn’t turned out like I thought it would. I thought it would finally provide the fulfillment I had been looking for. I thought I would feel needed and wanted. But I still find myself wanting. Being a superhero isn’t quite what I thought it would be.

Thoughts? Interpretations? Wisdom?

Todd

Wow, thank you guys so much for all your responses to the last blog. So much honesty and so much wisdom. I really do appreciate it. Not just the encouragement but even just how you approached it. I was moved by how much you shared.

I also noticed the strength of our responses to a difficult subject, really a risk vs. reward subject. A topic where both sides of the argument have really strong points and I wouldn’t blame you for having either opinion. Nonetheless, many times we have very passionate opinions about these very topics. So, I thought we might do a series of blogs where we dig into some of these tough issues. We won’t do them all in a row. That would be pretty heavy, and plus I already have some fun stuff lined up. But I am really interested in where these conversations might go. So we’ll start another one today.

This issue hits really close to home for me. I’ve really struggled with it. What do you guys think about moving into a poor neighborhood in your city? The rewards are strong. True relationships with people you might not otherwise cross paths with. Honest missional living. A chance for the gospel to be advanced both in word and deed. But the risk is huge as well. Nothing less than the physical safety of your family.

I’m not worried about what people might think of me for living on the wrong side of the tracks. But I am very concerned about the wellbeing of my family. When I’m out of town, I want to feel secure that my wife is safe at home. I don’t want the kids to grow up in a dangerous neighborhood. And usually the schools in our poorest neighborhoods are our worst schools. I want my kids to have the best.

So what are your thoughts about moving into a poor part of town? Are you one of those people who have made that choice? I have quite a few friends here in Austin who have. Maybe you will share some of your story with us, and maybe your thought process as you made that decision. Again, this is an issue where I think a lot of wise people will end up on each side. I don’t think there is an across the board right answer. I believe God has chosen each of us to follow the path He lays out for us. But I’d love to hear your thoughts, your fears, your successes.

Thanks.

Todd

Most of you have heard me comment on how I believe social media can negatively affect some portion of our lives. But today I don’t want to talk about its effect on our schedules or our community. I want to talk about its effect on me. I took a week off, and you may or may not already know the reason.

For those of you unfamiliar with what I’m talking about or who just need a refresher course, I spent a couple of weeks blogging about a few less discussed spiritual disciplines that God has been using in my life this summer. We have had a few people read and comment on them. Then in the last blog, we had a few people respond with a disagreeing point of view. Now I don’t mind when people disagree with me, but I get my pride involved from time to time and get my feelings hurt the same as anyone. Most of the time I hold my tongue (or my typed response, as the case may be), but unfortunately that day I was careless. In fact I made the same mistakes I was accusing someone else of making. I posted a foolish tweet where I used strong words, calling names really. It was childish and irresponsible. But the thing is… unbeknownst to you, my loyal readers and followers, I AM childish and irresponsible some of the time. We don’t put that in the liner notes or in the media bio, but it is nonetheless a part of my life. I make mistakes. Big ones. And this particular one has made me look at my place in social media very closely this week.

I don’t know how much good my blogging or tweeting does. I don’t know if people are being affected by my poor writing skills and random thoughts. But I am quite sure that at least three people will never be affected by my words, music, or ministry again. I don’t know how to weigh the value of that. Is my offhanded comment going to make enough impact that I should risk the impact of the ministry that I have invested years of my life building and learning how to do? Does my blogging and tweeting really make people feel connected to my music and ministry the way my industry advisors tell me it does? Now, I don’t necessarily want you to respond about me personally. I just want you to think about these ideas, and then let me know what you think.

Social media gives us the opportunity to make very public mistakes. We have more opportunity to offend and hurt with our words than ever. Is that a good thing? I know we have more opportunity to do good as well, but does that actually happen? And honestly, aren’t most people like me, in that good words affect us a little, but hurtful words cut us deeply? Can one comment I make undo however many dozens of blogs I’ve written, however many tours I’ve done, and the five records we’ve released?

I’m not looking for your comfort or encouragement. I’d like you, as a part of the most socially connected generation ever, to walk through this issue with me. I’d like to hear your thoughts. I have already learned that I have to be more thoughtful and wise about what I write. And if any of you have ever been hurt by my words, whether this time or another, first I would like to ask your forgiveness. Second, I would like to hear from you as well. And I promise not to snap back at you this time. Especially not in 140 characters or less.

Thoughts?

Todd

We have spent a few days now looking at the idea of being still before God and the spiritual disciplines that make that possible. But I want us to look a little deeper. Plus this will be new info and a good next step for all our Area One campers who heard all the rest of this at camp this summer. This all started with Psalm 46:10a, “Be still and know that I am God…” That is the phrase that it on most posters, paintings, and bookmarks of this verse. But why are there those three dots at the end? Well, because there is more to the verse. Silence, solitude, and simplicity do not occur in a vacuum. They have a purpose. And we find that purpose in the rest of the verse.

“Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations; I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10 (ESV)

Our being still is for the purpose of the exaltation of God. I believe He will be exalted in our moment of focus and solitude. But I also believe that moment prepares us to take His glory to the nations, to the earth.

How does God want to use you in this process? What is your time alone with Him leading you to? What passions is He stirring in you? What is he preparing you for?

Over 7000 languages are spoken in the world, but less than 500 have a complete Bible in their language.

10,000 Zambian children die every year from diarrhea because they don’t have access to clean water.

218 million children are trapped in child labor. 1.8 million are exploited in the global sex trade. And another child is trafficked every 26 seconds.

There are half a million abused and neglected children in foster care in the U.S.

There is an elderly lady in your neighborhood who has outlived everyone she knows and has no one to talk to.

There is a child in a poor part of your town who God created with the gifts to do what you do, but they will never get the opportunity because they can’t afford an instrument, or a team uniform, or lessons.

When you spend time with God, your heart begins to beat with His. Where is He leading you? Listen and find out. Then, as Henry Blackaby says, find what God is doing and join Him. For the exaltation of His name among the nations and in the earth.

Thoughts?

Todd